Build your support network for success and happiness
by Doris Helge, Ph.D. © 2008

What if you knew no one would slice off your right leg if you made a big mistake? What if you were rewarded for the courage and confidence to fail?

I want to introduce you to the one person who can give you this gift. I also want to help you surround yourself with group support during this personal growth process. First, let's make sure we're on the same page.

FAILURE 101

Failure is a secret ingredient in the recipe for success. Great parents discover how to help a child thrive because they have the courage to blunder over and over until they learn more about their little one's temperament and needs. In the process, they establish a loving relationship that lasts for a lifetime. In fact, most kids eventually provide partial care for their parents.

What about screwed-up romantic relationships and friendships? My relationship disasters were the key that unlocked the door to a loving partnership that, during the past 12 years, has amazed me with growing love and trust. A series of painful experiences in which I felt like a victim showed me just how much I didn't love myself. Other people were mirroring my lack of self-respect back to me. I began healing the one relationship that was holding me back -- my relationship with myself. I stopped fretting about why other people didn't like or respect me and focused on accepting my warts. Like a miracle, connections with other people became fun and rewarding.

I learned to trust the process of my life -- especially when it made no sense to me. When I began celebrating every mistake, the journey from "Oh, poor me" to "Wow! I can be a fully empowered woman and help other people" became much easier and faster.

Mistakes are essential in the business world. Post-it notes, penicillin, and vulcanized rubber were all created by mistake. Employees who play it safe instead of taking healthy risks are usually initially rewarded for conformity. However, they're eventually passed over when it's promotion time. Steady Freddy and Betty aren't considered innovative enough for leadership positions. It's impossible to stand out when you're struggling to do what everyone else does.

What if Oprah had worried more often about what people would think if her flamboyant ideas flopped? Even though she had been told over and over, "You're not the type of person people want to listen to," Oprah kept following her passion until she became the empowered woman you see today.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORT

When I coach client teams and Mastermind Groups, we applaud our "Hall of Shame" because participants had the courage to take healthy risks. We celebrate every mistake because we know life is a giant school, and the road to success is not a straight line.

Like medical students, we eagerly dissect what we laughingly call "courage cadavers" to discover why a specific adventure failed. Without this knowledge, we couldn't turn a fiasco into a major success.

Our openness with each other helps everyone. We bond with tears and laughter. We also save each other heartaches and time. None of us have time to make every possible mistake, so participants learn from each other's failures. During our Mastermind Calls, anyone who wants to jump into "The Seat of Honor" shares what they've learned as the rest of the group listens attentively. Those of us who've had a similar problem avoid repeating it because we view the experience from a new perspective. Participants who haven't yet faced the dilemma avoid it.

If you aren't yet connected with a great group of people who support you, reach out now. Identify new, objective people who will help you transform your mistakes into successes. Make sure your new friends understand the power of healthy risk taking. Friends and family may appear to have your best interests at heart, but they're not objective and your personal growth can make them antsy. Why? When we change, we mirror to others how their lives could be different. Most people resist change, even when it's clearly to their advantage. Friends and family have a picture of who you are. It's probably an outdated photo. They may UNconsciously prefer hanging out with an unhappy version of you because it's familiar and doesn't push their buttons.

PRACTICE BEING PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

Give it a go right now. Use your non-dominant hand to write a letter or throw a ball.

Notice that you don't expect a perfect performance when you engage in an activity for which you have no natural aptitude. Observe how easily you can excuse ordinary or poor accomplishment.

This simple exercise can help you squelch your tendency to judge your efforts harshly.

Give yourself permission to be as flawed as the rest of us. Each time you make a mistake, learn something valuable. Then redirect your efforts in a positive direction.

A very dear friend told me when she was dying that she had no regrets about her mistakes. Her body was fading rapidly, but her blue eyes were clear and bright. I was honored to hold her hand as she whispered, "Live with passion. It's better to regret what you've done than what you never tried to accomplish."

How about you? Are you failing enough to be successful and happy?

Visit http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com now and GET YOUR FREE EBOOKS: "Secrets of Happiness at Work," "Employee Engagement Made Easy," and "Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now." Doris Helge, Ph.D., is "The Joy Coach," and she is 100% dedicated to your happiness and success. She is also a corporate trainer for companies as large as Microsoft.

© 2008 This article was excerpted with permission from "Joy on the Job" by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, "Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in "Joy on the Job," http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com © 2008.

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 2008

Welcome

A Special Thanksgiving Gift for You!

Self Improvement Gifts - Ending Soon

Forget Surviving the Holidays! Special Offer

Give Yourself the Gift of Mindfullness

The Joy of Failure

Forget surviving the holidays! I want to help you ENJOY the holidays and that includes all the yummy holiday food! Don't miss out on this special month-long program at a great price!

Does this sound familiar?

• "The holidays only come once a year"
• "I'm starting my diet on January 2nd"
• "Here comes my annual 10 lb holiday weight gain!"
• "I can't believe I ate so much AGAIN"
• "I can't control myself around all this food at the office!"
• "2009 will the THE YEAR I get is shape"
• "I better go to the holiday party full so I don't eat everything in sight"

Let me help you get the most enjoyment out of your holiday season. I will coach you through the month of December and if you want to continue in January, I will put part of the charge of this special package to a full coaching program.

Imagine:

• Eating those favorite holiday foods without guilt or gaining weight
• Keeping your stress to a minimum - what a concept during this crazy time
• Having weekly support to talk through all the parties, office food, extra cooking, and other "temptations"
• Access to me anytime during the month (except Xmas day, but you'll be prepared :) ) via phone or email if you find yourself in a difficult situation
• Having a coach who is here to support you, not demanding your attention, time, or needing something from you
• Getting help with creative ideas to stay active that don't involve the gym or even scheduled exercise
• Tons of support and my secrets and ideas to avoid breaking the bank or creating additional financial stress (I've been researching and learning all kinds of ways to save money for a while now, there are ways to make life easier!)

You will get:

• 4 - 60 minute coaching sessions in the month of December
• Unlimited access to me during the month in between sessions
• Any documents, resources and other materials needed as we move through the month
• Membership in a private Yahoo group with other clients in this program to get support from others as well as get announcements and special bonuses as they come along during the month
• Special unannounced bonuses that I am still putting together
• Peace of mind, less stress, less or no holiday weight gain and an awesome start to the new year
• Application of part of this package fee to a full coaching program in January if you decide to continue
• Discounts on Healthier Outcomes products and services for yourself or to give as gifts

On November 27th, the United States celebrates Thanksgiving.

The core focus of this holiday is gratitude. It's about connecting with family and friends, and it's about giving thanks for everything wonderful in life.

My friends Jenn Givler and Teresa Morrow were inspired to put together a really neat project in honor of this holiday.

As business owners, we are thankful that we, not only get to do what we love for a living, but that we get to connect with other wonderful business owners every day.

Teresa and Jenn asked 10 amazing business women to come together and help them create an inspirational screen saver. The screen saver consists of original, inspirational quotes set on beautiful nature pictures.

The purpose of the screen saver is to help inspire you throughout your day as you work toward your goals. We're also hoping you'll feel connected and among like-minds as you read through our quotes. And, we'd love it for you to meet some new people and make new connections as well!

The screen saver is available to you as my gift. To download your copy, simply log on to this web site:
http://www.MindfulBusinessesPartner.com

While you're on the site, be sure and check out the other great women who are part of this project!

The screen saver will only be available until December 12th, so be sure and get your copy!

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It's still going on - and has been extended for a limited time! If you haven't visited to get your *free* gifts, now is the time! Many of you have already been to the giveaway and I hope you were impressed with the selection! Don't forget to visit the site often because more gifts are still being added!

http://www.selfimprovementgifts3.com/members.php?id=158

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Give Yourself the Gift of Mindfullness!

My client Denyse came up with a very exciting idea a while back. She wanted a reminder to stay aware and conscious in between sessions when it came to paying attention to hunger and fullness, the principles of intuitive eating, and one of my favorite recommendations, to "Stay in the Moment".

Denyse is a very talented jewelry maker and has created some designs especially for Healthier Outcomes. The picture below is just one example of the bracelets we will be offering to help you stay conscious, and in the moment. If you are interested in purchasing a bracelet for yourself or as holiday gifts (at a 25% discount), send me an email or call me and I can give you more details. I have a limited quantity of bracelets in a few different color schemes and we will not have any more when these run out until the beginning of next year.

Each bracelet is a one of a kind. Color schemes include green and purple, red, black and silver, and blue. The picture below is just an example of one of the options. Each one includes the special silver charm that has "Stay in the Moment" engraved on it.