Ready or not, here we are…it’s the holiday season. To me, it seems we just celebrated the new year a couple of months ago, but obviously that’s not the case. I remember as a kid, “old” people talking about how time flies and thinking that was crazy. Well, I guess I’ve been old for some time, because I don’t know where the last 15 or so years have gone! But I digress….
This month I want to share with you a revelation I had last week. I hope this encourages those of you dealing with the fear of the holidays and all the food and overeating that typically goes with them.
I used to work in an office, so I know what December is like. Every day, well-meaning vendors, customers, and outside sales reps sent in all kinds of goodies, including chocolate, cookies, candy, and any other treat you can imagine. With every package, the women in the office groaned. We felt we couldn’t control ourselves, eating everything in sight, feeling guilty and sick, and then lapsing into a sugar coma, only to repeat the same thing the next day. Sound familiar?
I’ve been able to avoid this situation for well over 10 years now since working at home. It was simple, I didn’t bring the treats in, so they didn’t get eaten. But the other day my veterinarian’s office called, asking if they could drop something off. It turned out to be a beautiful box of See’s truffles. (For those of you in the east, you may not know See’s Candy – just know it’s incredible!)
Long story short – much to my surprise I didn’t panic or feel that dread when I saw the box. My husband asked me if he should get rid of it for me (I’ve trained him well, I’m afraid). I told him no way! I love truffles and I can have one anytime I want one. Over the last week, I’ve had one or two a day when the mood strikes, and if I bite into one that I don’t like, it goes in the garbage without any guilt. In the past, it would have been eaten anyway and that box probably would have been gone within 2 days – to “get rid of it”. The result was feeling sick, eating and feeling guilty and not getting to enjoy the wonderful treats.
This incident has shown me how far I have come in the process of eating intuitively. I am thrilled and looking forward to Christmas cookies later this month. I know I can enjoy them and not gain weight or feel bad. If I can do this, so can you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of you, so just keep moving forward.
Have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy your time off, time with friends and family, AND your favorite holiday foods!
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As I mentioned last month, I’ve compiled some of my favorite books, tools and music in one easy to shop store. If you can shop Amazon, you can shop my personal Amazon store! Check it out for last minute holiday gifts or something nice for yourself!
I also can provide gift certificates for any of my services including Intuitive Eating Laser Coaching, any coaching program, and Am I Hungry? teleworkshops (new classes will begin in January or February next year, date coming soon).
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- I was interviewed on the radio by coach Gwenyth Charles last week. We discussed Intuitive Eating. If you would like to listen to a recording of the show, click on this link and scroll down to the December 2nd show.
- Check out this amazing YouTube video from a high school basketball game, but keep the tissues nearby!
- Each month, Dr. Michelle May, author of the non-dieting book, Am I Hungry?, writes an article offering a voice of reason for a society consumed by dieting, weight, food, and eating. You can read back issues and sign up to receive her monthly articles here.
- My friends Jenn Givler and Kim Mutch Emerson have a wonderful Yahoo group called Prosperity Secrets. The purpose of this group is focused on the Universal Law of Attraction for success in every area of your life. They come together for support and encouragement in manifesting our deepest desires, and to hold each other up in times of need. You can join by visiting their Yahoo group page. Check out their upcoming holiday party, too!
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December 2007
I’m excited to share this article from Women’s Online Magazine written by professional writer, and my client, Jennifer Bays. The subject is important and relevant to all of us throughout the year, but especially at this crazy time during the holiday season. I hope you will enjoy it and take it to heart as well.
“Mrs. Bays, here are the 20 t-shirts that need to be tie-dyed for the second graders’ field trip next week. Could you have those done by Thursday? Thanks.” “Jennifer can whip out the flyers for this weekend’s chili cook off. She always helps out.”
Can you fill in your name in either situation? Do you often find yourself taking on tasks you aren’t interested in or don’t have time for just to make people happy? If so, join the crowd! Many women are people-pleasers. I know this because I’m a people-pleaser in rehabilitation!
I don’t like people being upset with me. I didn’t think that being a people-pleaser was such a bad thing. I mean, being helpful is the right thing to do, right? Unfortunately, being a people-pleaser isn’t an altruistic behavior. It can be self-destructive.
I have finally reached a point of exhaustion. I’ve been saying, “yes, yes, yes” to everything and everyone but myself. Am I happy being helpful? No! In many cases, I am resentful. I resent the fact that people can’t do a task themselves, or that I lose family/personal time while the people I help actually gain free time with my assistance. I think nastily, “Their schedule isn’t half of what mine is! Why is it that I can find time to do this, but they can’t?”
With time, maturity, and yes, hindsight, I finally realized that no one is pushing me to help out. They are simply asking me because of my prior assistance. Also, I discovered a nasty secret about myself—I often agree to do something because I think I am the only one who could do the task competently. Can you say ‘snob?’
Is this striking a chord with you? Can you recognize a bit of yourself in my description? I think there are many women who can relate. We are the twenty percent in the 80/20 principle. That’s the theory that states that 20% of the people do 80% of the work! You see this principle playing out in churches, schools, and offices around the world. Need something done? Ask the lady who’s already busy!
I am finally admitting I can’t do it all! I am exhausted. I am also letting people down. I have so much on my plate that stuff is falling to the floor and into oblivion. Suddenly, I’m not the lady who has it all together. I am the lady who can’t be relied on. My credibility is falling – it’s the worst feeling in the world! For someone who takes such pride in doing excellent work, I am now seen as unreliable.
What am I doing about it? Well, I’m being selfish. I’ve turned down requests and (gasp) work. I’ve politely refused situations that require more of my time. I’ve also started making time for myself. I leave the house without a child in tow. I walk around the bookstore with a cup of coffee and absolutely no goal in mind but to relax and enjoy the time. I turn off my cell phone after 8 pm and I don’t answer the home phone—even if it’s my mother!
I’ve been working with a wonderful lady, Gillian Hood-Gabrielson. She’s helping me address a healthier eating and living outlook. When we first began working together and I started noting my tendency to please others while punishing myself through overeating, she asked me a very simple question, “What would happen if you didn’t do everything yourself?” That question stopped me cold.
Read the rest of this article at Women’s Online Magazine.
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I posted this on my blog last year, and it’s so funny I wanted to share it with my newsletter readers. I don’t know who to credit for it, but it is written tongue-in-cheek for sure, and I love the idea of making fun of the craziness around food during the holidays. I hope you will enjoy your holidays this year, including your favorite treats! Have fun with this…
- Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
- Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
- If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
- As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
- Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
Read the rest on my blog …
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