Are you a "control freak"? OK, you don't have to answer that, but I will admit that I have the tendency to be one. I like to think of myself as a recovering control freak, having learned to let go of many things I can't change. It is a great way to prevent a lot of stress and unnecessary worry.
I often hear emotional overeaters say they want to have control over food or over their behavior around food. When they are out of control, they are overeating and eating for emotional reasons. In control typically looks like a diet, of course, when they are being "good".
This has always bothered me, I don't want to encourage my clients to strive for "being in control". But I haven't been able to find the right words to describe an intuitive eater. Finally, I came across an awesome book, "Am I Hungry?" by Dr. Michelle May. She describes overeating as being out of control, restricting or dieting as in control, but eating intuitively is being "in charge". I love this description. It implies you are making your own conscious decisions about what and when to eat.
I encourage you to let go of control and become in charge of how and what you eat. You may even find other things in your life that you can apply this to approach!
To your health,
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This month features Valentine's Day, which of course brings to mind one thing - chocolate. (Okay. Jewelry, too.) I have good news on the health front. Perusing the USDA website I found that chocolate has a higher Total Antioxidant Capacity than blueberries and spinach combined!
Antioxidants are thought to slow aging and prevent certain diseases (including cancer and heart disease) by protecting the body against compounds called free radicals. Free radicals develop in our bodies due to the normal metabolism (use) of oxygen and from environmental sources such as cigarette smoke, pollution, and chemicals. Our body has a process for removing free radicals from the body, but with the internal and external stressors placed on us, the body is not 100% efficient at eliminating these compounds. It needs dietary help.
In general, fruits and vegetables are high in antioxidants (more than grain-based products). They are a good source of fiber and other beneficial nutrients and are often less calorie dense than other foods (meaning fewer calories per volume of food). Exceptions would be avocados and dried fruit.
Back to chocolate. The antioxidant properties in chocolate come from the cocoa bean - the pure source of chocolate. As such, unsweetened baking chocolate has the highest antioxidant value. That is helpful for cooking, but not for a box of chocolates. To get the best antioxidant value from chocolate, the darker the better - most experts recommend 70% or higher cocoa value. Milk chocolate contains far less cocoa and more milk and sugar, significantly diminishing the antioxidant properties of the cocoa bean it starts with.
While dark chocolate beats spinach and blueberries in the Total Antioxidant Capacity category, it is more calorie dense and contains saturated fat. Looking at the label of an 88% bar, a 1 oz. portion (the entire bar is 3.5 oz.) is 143 calories, 77 (54%) of which are saturated fat. One cup of blueberries is only 83 calories and one-half gram of fat (no saturated).
While I will not rely solely on dark chocolate for my antioxidants, it's nice to know it helps!
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If you live in the Rockville, MD area, I highly recommend this workshop and/or support groups by Liz Berney, PhD. This is a great opportunity to learn intuitive eating in an in-person, relaxed environment.
Conscious Eating Support Group with Dr. Liz Berney
Dates: Thursdays - Feb 22, March 22, April 26
Time: 7-9 pm
Location: Rockville, MD
Group includes: Conscious Eating Meal, Body Image and Eating Exercises, Support around Monthly Eating & Body-related Challenges
Choosing You!: Eating Consciously, Living Freely
A Workshop for Women with Dr. Liz Berney
Dates: Saturday March 24
Time: 9 am - 4 pm
Location: Rockville, MD
For full details, visit: ChoosingYou.org
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The American Heart Association (AHA) works diligently to increase awareness of the risk factors and warning signs of heart disease and offers resources and information on healthy lifestyles to help prevent it. (If you are unfamiliar with the risk factors for cardiovascular disease, visit the AHA website at AmericanHeart.org.) Each year, the month of February is dedicated to this end, helping you and me, as their mission states, to “…reduce disability and death from cardiovascular diseases and stroke. That single purpose drives all we do.”
With all the education and resources offered by the AHA, doctors, and other health and wellness professionals, heart disease still tops the list as the leading killer (stroke is #3). The Department of Health and Human Services estimated in its September 2003 report Prevention Makes Common Cents, that heart disease costs this country upwards of $350 billion dollars annually. Some of this is spent on cutting edge, life-saving technology, but much of this money spent could be saved through prevention.
It can be difficult to grasp such a large number, especially when most people do not see it coming out of their pocket. But one way or another, it does. Whether through taxes, insurance premiums, or fewer benefits/wages offered by employers, we all foot the bill.
Let’s bring it to a micro level – one that hits us directly. Consider co-pays for office visits, insurance premiums, time spent at the doctor and taking tests, reduced quality of life… we personally pay for heart disease (and other ailments) in many ways. For each individual it comes down to the question, “is the price too high?”
While some factors (such as age and gender) cannot be changed, other risk factors (such as high cholesterol and inactivity) can be modified, treated, or controlled through lifestyle. If you have one or more risk factors for heart disease, what are you willing to do to improve it?
The aim of preventing heart disease need not be daunting. As with any goal, take it at a do-able pace. And, if it is a loved one that needs help, be patient. Making changes may be hard for that person (we each have our own definition of “hard”). Find what you (or they) consider easiest to change and start there. If it’s exercise, start with five minutes a day. If you need to eat more fiber to help lower your cholesterol, start with a few extra grams per day (simply switching the bread you use and adding an extra fruit per day really ups the grams). It all adds up to a healthier heart.
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February 2007
I had the pleasure of being a guest of Heal Yourself Talk Radio a couple of weeks ago. Host Rebecca White and I discussed the concepts of Intuitive Eating. Check it out and all the great topics Rebecca covers at HealYourselfTalk.com
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by Denise Hedges
I received coach Denise Hedges’ newsletter this month and asked if I could share this article with my readers. Love and acceptance of yourself is a big key to eating intuitively and exercising consistently. I have seen amazing things happen when someone gets to the point of acceptance. I would love for you to experience it as well!
Last month’s newsletter focused on New Year’s Resolutions and now it’s already Valentines Day! It was very odd to find myself writing about resolutions because I don’t believe that we’re empowered or fulfilled when we resolve ourselves against anything. Yet, I found that resolving to exercise brought me to a whole new place where real change happens.
I began to look at the energy and intention behind that resolution. Originally, I was exercising because I was resolved to do something about my weight. Admittedly, that’s not a very empowering stance. As the month evolved, however, I began to exercise because I was consciously choosing it as a way to love, nurture, and care for myself. Whoa! That’s a different place indeed! This change in perspective led me to a dedicated inquiry into the concept of self- love.
Self-love sounds like a worthy goal, one that would certainly enhance the quality of my life and the lives of the people I care about. But HOW do we get there?
Let’s start with what it means to love yourself. Simply put, it’s being loving to yourself and happy with who you are. To feel, in the core of your being, that you’re worthy of happiness. Not for any particular reason. Not because you do this well or did that right. Not because you’re the smartest, the thinnest, or the prettiest. If you base your love on what you DO or on having particular qualities, then what happens when someone smarter or prettier shows up, you gain ten pounds, or you begin to age?
As strange as it may sound, self-love is actually a decision that you make to appreciate, accept, honor, and support who you are... even those aspects you’d like to eventually shift or change. Self-love starts with self-acceptance of who you are – exactly as you are – with no conditions or reservations.
So, if loving and accepting ourselves feels so good, then why do we struggle against it? As I’ve listened to my clients and observed my own behavior, I’ve found that we use our lack of acceptance as motivation to do and be what we think we should.
We judge ourselves unfavorably with the hope that if we feel bad enough, it’ll motivate us to change. Does it work? Sometimes. Usually only in the short term.
One thing that’s pretty much guaranteed is that this kind of motivation causes us to feel BAD. Feeling bad saps our energy. Energy that’s necessary to make the changes you want. Energy that’s necessary to attract the things you want!
When my coach suggested that I love and accept my body just as it was, I was appalled! Even with all my experience and training, I found myself ferociously hanging on to the idea of not accepting my body as it is. Afraid that if I accepted it, I’d never change it.
As I began to delve into this idea further, I found that you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to actively change those things you’d like to change. In fact, research shows that acceptance is actually the very first step in the process of change!
So how do we get to a place of acceptance?
- Identify all the things you don’t accept about yourself. In other words, what conditions are you forcing yourself to meet before you’ll love and accept yourself? (I have to lose 30 pounds. I must stop procrastinating. I have to curb my temper, be kinder, and more patient.)
- Examine and question the validity of the beliefs and fears that are stopping you from loving and accepting yourself.
- Seriously consider whether you would withhold your love from someone, a child perhaps, until they met the conditions you specified. Distinguish between being worthy of love – just because you are – from what you do or don’t do.
- Develop healthy daily practices that focus on self- love and acceptance.
The famous psychoanalyst Eric Fromm, in the classic book, The Art of Loving, described love as an art that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and daily practice.
Have you noticed how often it comes down to practices that support what you want? That’s because we have to interrupt the old “default” that’s been running amuck on our internal computers and replace it with happier, healthier programs. Here are specific practices to help you. Choose a couple that speak to you and work with them consistently.
- Notice your tendency to measure yourself by other people’s expectations. Refuse to do that anymore.
- Allow yourself to fully accept compliments and praise from others. Trust that what they’re saying is true.
- Compliment yourself often. Before you go to sleep at night, get present to three things that you are proud of or appreciate about yourself.
- Be aware of the negative chatter in your mind. Realize that your inner dialogue has a positive intention to keep you safe and protected. Acknowledge that fully and then consciously choose to change your self-talk.
- Focus on your strengths and on the positives. Turn your attention away from anything you deem a weakness.
- Make a habit of catching yourself doing things “right,” instead of always noticing when you do things “wrong.”
- Forgive yourself for any mistakes or shortcomings as quickly as possible. Recognize that if you were perfect you wouldn’t be on this planet!
- Imagine a future where you totally love and accept yourself. Connect to that vision routinely.
- Write a love letter to yourself, describing what you really like and admire about you!
- Schedule time regularly for self-care, fun, and spiritually uplifting activities.
- “Act as if” you love yourself. In other words, “fake it until you make it.” As you do, you’ll notice that your choices and behaviors begin to change.
- And the biggest one of all... true love and acceptance comes from knowing who you are at the very core of you, not from anything you do. Know in your heart of hearts that you are a child of God. You are God energy made manifest in physical form. Doesn’t it almost seem sinful not to love and respect God’s glorious creation? Self-love honors our spiritual Source.
You are a miracle of creation and a creative miracle worker. When you live your life from that tenet you create and cause miracles and love all around you.
Denise Hedges is a results-oriented Personal and Business Coach, speaker, and trainer. She’s helped thousands of busy professional women and small business owners to be successful and fulfilled in their careers while creating more time, balance, and joy in their personal lives. To receive a complimentary phone consultation, sign up for her free newsletter, or to find out more go to LifeWorkCoaching.com or email Denise at denise@lifeworkcoaching.com.
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